在山中养成的习惯，每天清晨起来，在附近的一家咖啡馆喝一杯 cafe con leche。西班牙的牛奶咖啡，香浓顺喉。在新加坡，若想喝杯像样的咖啡，到星巴克去，点杯 latte，稀而涩。难怪我回国后的一个月，还在这小岛上寻觅着西班牙的 cafe con leche。
每天清晨一杯，给自己面对挑战的勇气。
下午疲倦了，再喝上一杯，为自己充电，siesta 一下。
晚上的那一杯，祝贺自己平安顺利地度过一天。
老实说，一天也不就为了三杯咖啡而活着。生活如此简单朴实，有何不好？
Sunday, 18 November 2007
Saturday, 20 October 2007
Friday, 19 October 2007
岛上的非法移民
前日与同事喝咖啡，谈及他九月的柬埔寨之旅。赫然发现自己也一直挂念着西班牙。欧式的写意、慢条斯理、随心所欲把我的心留在西班牙。
“Then you are an illegal immigrant！”
是的，我非法入境，非法居留在小岛上……又或者是岛国强行拘留了我？
最近，看大家的 MSN 匿名和传来的简讯都频频出现一个字 "Trapped"。是不是大家都与我有着同样的感受？我 trapped 在西班牙，你们又为了什么 trapped 呢？难道生活真给我们设下一个个陷阱，设计将我们困在其中？
想起多年前看过的一出戏《岛》。两个男人被困在一个荒岛上。具体剧情已经不记得了，只依稀记得两个男人似乎每天忙着挖矿、爬到高处等待经过的船只的注意。最耐人寻味的是，他们在这无人的小岛上还划出了属于自己的私人空间。无形的线，把他们牵制住，谁也不愿意跨入对方的地盘。
坐在货仓里看戏的我，双手紧紧抓住座位，守住这个空间里仅属于我的一张塑料椅子；看戏时，还不时偷瞄那扇紧挨着的铁门。剧终。铁门一打开，我直冲到货仓外，深深吸了一口气。这是不是每个被 trapped 的人最直接的反应呢？如果是，快给我一口新鲜的西班牙空气吧！
“Then you are an illegal immigrant！”
是的，我非法入境，非法居留在小岛上……又或者是岛国强行拘留了我？
最近，看大家的 MSN 匿名和传来的简讯都频频出现一个字 "Trapped"。是不是大家都与我有着同样的感受？我 trapped 在西班牙，你们又为了什么 trapped 呢？难道生活真给我们设下一个个陷阱，设计将我们困在其中？
想起多年前看过的一出戏《岛》。两个男人被困在一个荒岛上。具体剧情已经不记得了，只依稀记得两个男人似乎每天忙着挖矿、爬到高处等待经过的船只的注意。最耐人寻味的是，他们在这无人的小岛上还划出了属于自己的私人空间。无形的线，把他们牵制住，谁也不愿意跨入对方的地盘。
坐在货仓里看戏的我，双手紧紧抓住座位，守住这个空间里仅属于我的一张塑料椅子；看戏时，还不时偷瞄那扇紧挨着的铁门。剧终。铁门一打开，我直冲到货仓外，深深吸了一口气。这是不是每个被 trapped 的人最直接的反应呢？如果是，快给我一口新鲜的西班牙空气吧！
Thursday, 18 October 2007
飛人
西班牙人的生活離不開足球，也少不了摩托車。街上四處可見 Ducati 和 Honda 牌 street bikes、tourers、skippers 停在路旁。就是小鎮上也可看到 Suzuki GSX-R 1000 的雄姿或是 Yamaha YZF-R1 飛速駛過。
很難不想起你載著我飛奔在 AYE 的那一次。身為 best pillon 的我，緊握著油筒，專心地配合你每一個 lane change、"kap" corner、sharp turning...
昨夜，你告訴我《有一種愛叫作放手》。你問我怎麼辦。
既然決定放手，找回 AYE 昔日的瀟灑吧！願你飛向更藍的一片天！
很難不想起你載著我飛奔在 AYE 的那一次。身為 best pillon 的我，緊握著油筒，專心地配合你每一個 lane change、"kap" corner、sharp turning...
昨夜，你告訴我《有一種愛叫作放手》。你問我怎麼辦。
既然決定放手，找回 AYE 昔日的瀟灑吧！願你飛向更藍的一片天！
Sunday, 7 October 2007
打通筋脉……
在山中走的时候，常常会想起几个人。F、A、D。和三个人几乎无所不谈（是说，三人的谈话内容加起来。哈哈！三人对风的所知，比例大概就与相识的年数形成正比吧。）
FAD 對風的印象是
拼（夢想）︱瘋（生活）︱怕（受傷）
風想告訴你們
我們是同一人。
人家常說，終身伴侶必須能互補。因此，我深信我們能做一輩子的好朋友。
有些人一輩子也沒能找到一個知心的朋友，我有三個能深交的好友，還能怨甚麼呢？
Thursday, 4 October 2007
命里有时终须有
西班牙之旅来得正是时候。离开，让自己疲累的脑袋有思考的空间，也有了新的想法。事实上，人，到了哪里，都逃不出自己的一颗心。思念，再强烈，也都是美好的回忆。
决定不再去争取什么。
奇怪。幸福不是应该靠自己争取回来的吗？
经验却告诉我，有些人、有些事、有些感情，争取回来了，自己也不会快乐。
莫强求。不属于我的，就应该趁早放下。这可能才是保留美好回忆的唯一方法。数十年后，某一天，记起你，心里仍会甜滋滋的。
决定不再去争取什么。
奇怪。幸福不是应该靠自己争取回来的吗？
经验却告诉我，有些人、有些事、有些感情，争取回来了，自己也不会快乐。
莫强求。不属于我的，就应该趁早放下。这可能才是保留美好回忆的唯一方法。数十年后，某一天，记起你，心里仍会甜滋滋的。
Wednesday, 3 October 2007
a fugitive in the midst of infinite
Siddhartha wanted to leave the palace and be on his way to the forest in search of happiness. The ministers tried to dissuade him. His mother was in tears. Everyone was trying to talk him out of it. But his father said, "If you find happiness in the forest, come back and teach me happiness." And so, off he went into the forest empty handed.
The wind keeps on blowing. Come back still, even if you do not manage to find happiness.
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
土星原来还有不同
女人背着 8.5kg 重的背包到山间远足。走了三天，翻过八个山峰山谷，女人的双脚都起了泡，腰也直不起来了。
三个男人知道了，纷纷传来简讯。
F 男人：你真的是连‘死’字都不会写。Thank goodness you are alive!
A 男人：哎哟！为什么会弄成这样？Take care k. Muakz.
D 男人：哇！你应该去 sign on commando. 哈哈！
从以上反应可看出三个男人的年龄。
F 男人就像是慈父一样，爱护女人却又抱怨她不听自己的话。
A 男人其实就像蜜恋中的男孩，以最纯真的方式安慰心仪的女孩。
D 男人以最幽默的方法逗女人一笑，这其中又不失尊重与肯定。
女人忍不住笑出来。
三个男人知道了，纷纷传来简讯。
F 男人：你真的是连‘死’字都不会写。Thank goodness you are alive!
A 男人：哎哟！为什么会弄成这样？Take care k. Muakz.
D 男人：哇！你应该去 sign on commando. 哈哈！
从以上反应可看出三个男人的年龄。
F 男人就像是慈父一样，爱护女人却又抱怨她不听自己的话。
A 男人其实就像蜜恋中的男孩，以最纯真的方式安慰心仪的女孩。
D 男人以最幽默的方法逗女人一笑，这其中又不失尊重与肯定。
女人忍不住笑出来。
Friday, 28 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙XIV
尾声：怯场
陆地越来越清晰可见
降落的时间一分一秒地逼近
没有时间了
到底要不要戴隐形眼镜？
要不要戴帽子？
要不要化妆？
最后一刻
决定用披肩裹住自己
从容地走出机舱
我又一次回到家了
却发现来不及和云说再见
陆地越来越清晰可见
降落的时间一分一秒地逼近
没有时间了
到底要不要戴隐形眼镜？
要不要戴帽子？
要不要化妆？
最后一刻
决定用披肩裹住自己
从容地走出机舱
我又一次回到家了
却发现来不及和云说再见
Thursday, 27 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙XIII
第十二场：搁浅
独自在巴塞罗那晃的三天，脑子里重复浮现一个问题：能一个人活着吗？
肯定可以。
本来就一直生活在自给自足的模式当中。只要有蓝天白云、树木花朵……大自然就是心灵的养分。
内心深处迟疑了。
不得不承认，已经疲累不堪。这条路，用蛮牛之力走了29年。是不是该找个休息站歇歇脚，才能往前走下去？
抬起头，望了望天空。太阳不见了。
独自在巴塞罗那晃的三天，脑子里重复浮现一个问题：能一个人活着吗？
肯定可以。
本来就一直生活在自给自足的模式当中。只要有蓝天白云、树木花朵……大自然就是心灵的养分。
内心深处迟疑了。
不得不承认，已经疲累不堪。这条路，用蛮牛之力走了29年。是不是该找个休息站歇歇脚，才能往前走下去？
抬起头，望了望天空。太阳不见了。
Wednesday, 26 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙XII
第十一场：穿越时空
人在西班牙，时钟却倔强地停留在新加坡。
现在是西班牙11:00。新加坡17:00。美国02:00。
想听听你们的声音。
奇怪。大家都不听我的电话。
马路上的旅游巴士川流不息。
面对圣家堂，心中却异常平静。
少说也有200年历史吧。
Gaudi 当年只完成了教堂东面。
后世为他的匠心加工，完成他的教堂美梦。
看着高架上忙碌的建筑工人，
果然应验一句话“It's a living process”。
这是一名建筑师留给后人的灵感与启发。
这是 Milan Kundera 说的 immortality。
穿越时空的，不正也是人类的想法、思念、爱情。
人的一颗心要放大，才能装下这
immortality。
人在西班牙，时钟却倔强地停留在新加坡。
现在是西班牙11:00。新加坡17:00。美国02:00。
想听听你们的声音。
奇怪。大家都不听我的电话。
马路上的旅游巴士川流不息。
面对圣家堂，心中却异常平静。
少说也有200年历史吧。
Gaudi 当年只完成了教堂东面。
后世为他的匠心加工，完成他的教堂美梦。
看着高架上忙碌的建筑工人，
果然应验一句话“It's a living process”。
这是一名建筑师留给后人的灵感与启发。
这是 Milan Kundera 说的 immortality。
穿越时空的，不正也是人类的想法、思念、爱情。
人的一颗心要放大，才能装下这
immortality。Tuesday, 25 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙XI
第十场：原来……咖啡座的窗一片迷蒙。
八点钟。
好友睡眼惺忪地点了三杯热巧克力。
反复的叮咛。
一群好友的送别、简单的一句“顺风”
整天萦绕耳中。
只身回到巴塞罗那。
重游旧地，感觉却迥然不同。
宿舍的空气闷热。
楼上的住户似乎想在天花板上撞破一个洞。
闷得发慌。
随手拿起外套，到街上漫无目的地走。
今天是中秋节。
打电话给 F 看看他近况如何吧。
谈话内容却离不开工作和取笑我快断掉的双腿。
更矛盾的是收线前的那句“Enjoy Yourself”。
细雨后的秋风格外冷。
突然想起今天还没吃饭。
拐着脚走进上回和好友用餐的 Beer & Coffee。
还是点了同样的海鲜饭……
Monday, 24 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙X
第九场：休息
世界三大朝圣之城——Santiago de Compostella 就在眼前。
到 Old Town 去感受 Camino de Santiago 的气氛。千百年来，多少朝圣者（pilgrims）长途跋涉、翻山越岭，就为了到这片圣土上来祈福。走了200公里，终于踏在这片圣土上。地上的贝壳印让你松了一口气，眼前的古老教堂也一定会让你惊叹。
我们这群中途放弃 pilgrimage 乘车前来的挑战者，却始终无法感染到这种欢愉。只觉得今天的风好冷，全身肌肉僵硬，左脚的筋还在隐隐作痛，好想回去暖暖的被窝里好好睡一觉。
世界三大朝圣之城——Santiago de Compostella 就在眼前。
到 Old Town 去感受 Camino de Santiago 的气氛。千百年来，多少朝圣者（pilgrims）长途跋涉、翻山越岭，就为了到这片圣土上来祈福。走了200公里，终于踏在这片圣土上。地上的贝壳印让你松了一口气，眼前的古老教堂也一定会让你惊叹。
我们这群中途放弃 pilgrimage 乘车前来的挑战者，却始终无法感染到这种欢愉。只觉得今天的风好冷，全身肌肉僵硬，左脚的筋还在隐隐作痛，好想回去暖暖的被窝里好好睡一觉。
Sunday, 23 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙IX
第八场：漂移
脑袋不想再想
背上的 8.5kg 不比生活沉重
左脚的旧伤开始复发
果然是体力极限的挑战
望着
蔚蓝的天空
走在
起伏的山峦
吹着
绿色的秋风
吸着
牛粪的气味
此时此刻
只想
放空
- 2天半
- 8座山
- 80多公里
- 摄氏10度
- 3间歇脚处（refuge）
- 2+2-1-2-1=0人
脑袋不想再想
背上的 8.5kg 不比生活沉重
左脚的旧伤开始复发
果然是体力极限的挑战
望着
蔚蓝的天空
走在
起伏的山峦
吹着
绿色的秋风
吸着
牛粪的气味
此时此刻
只想
放空
Thursday, 20 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙VIII
第七场：人是孤独的
起风了。
飞过了 Barcelona 的圣家堂。美丽的童话城堡让风的世界五彩缤纷。
吹到了 Bilbao 的古根汉这个20世纪的巨作。还是一阵兴奋！
这份激情被越洋电话另一头冷冷的声音浇熄了。
忽然，夕阳下的古根汉好像是一张张巨型冥纸砌成的死亡城堡。
冰冷。和今天的天气一样。摄氏10度。
起风了。
飞过了 Barcelona 的圣家堂。美丽的童话城堡让风的世界五彩缤纷。
吹到了 Bilbao 的古根汉这个20世纪的巨作。还是一阵兴奋！
这份激情被越洋电话另一头冷冷的声音浇熄了。
忽然，夕阳下的古根汉好像是一张张巨型冥纸砌成的死亡城堡。
冰冷。和今天的天气一样。摄氏10度。
Wednesday, 19 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙VII
第六场：呼吸
赶着陪好友做最后的雪拼采购
赶着回家吃学姐精心准备的午餐
赶着送好友前往机场
赶着到 Antoni Gaudi 的 Parc Guell 游览一番
赶着搭夜班火车到 Frank Gehry 的 Guggenheim
好像……忘了今天的主题。
赶着陪好友做最后的雪拼采购
赶着回家吃学姐精心准备的午餐
赶着送好友前往机场
赶着到 Antoni Gaudi 的 Parc Guell 游览一番
赶着搭夜班火车到 Frank Gehry 的 Guggenheim
好像……忘了今天的主题。
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙VI
第五场：痕迹
好友明天回返新加坡。这一别恐怕要等上好几个月才能再次见面。虽然疲累，狠下心，与她跑遍三间博物馆。来西班牙之前，曾向友人提过：这是一次艺术之旅。我要看尽所有西班牙名家的画展！
毕加索、米勒、17世纪的宗教画家……我的脑袋已经饱和。达里、苟雅，对不起，只好等待下一次了来西班牙时，再来看你们了。
好友明天回返新加坡。这一别恐怕要等上好几个月才能再次见面。虽然疲累，狠下心，与她跑遍三间博物馆。来西班牙之前，曾向友人提过：这是一次艺术之旅。我要看尽所有西班牙名家的画展！
毕加索、米勒、17世纪的宗教画家……我的脑袋已经饱和。达里、苟雅，对不起，只好等待下一次了来西班牙时，再来看你们了。
Monday, 17 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙V
第四场：歇斯底里
傍晚的圣家堂像是一座童话城堡。一层彩色缤纷的糖衣诱惑你在柱子上咬一口。想起了 Hansel & Gretel 的糖果屋，也想起了布拉格升在空中的童话世界，还想起了临走前，你说这一生中一定要来一趟圣家堂。我的心想要疯狂地呐喊：我终于来到这里了！虽然你没能来，我是你的眼睛，仔仔细细观察每一砖每一瓦，再让风把这一切带回到你身边。
傍晚的圣家堂像是一座童话城堡。一层彩色缤纷的糖衣诱惑你在柱子上咬一口。想起了 Hansel & Gretel 的糖果屋，也想起了布拉格升在空中的童话世界，还想起了临走前，你说这一生中一定要来一趟圣家堂。我的心想要疯狂地呐喊：我终于来到这里了！虽然你没能来，我是你的眼睛，仔仔细细观察每一砖每一瓦，再让风把这一切带回到你身边。
Sunday, 16 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙IV
第三场：阳光依旧灿烂
《成人非童话》落幕了。西班牙是这条路的最后一站。
为什么要走上这条路？
因为舍不得。
什么是表演？
人生提炼出的10%。
9010的哲学深深烙印心中。
人，靠的不外是一颗心。
Saturday, 15 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙III
窗外风光明媚。远处的山峦。近处的欧式建筑。
应该是让人放松休闲的一天。
早上起床心情却十分不爽。
化了妆。上了平日没化的黑色眼影，让自己更 gothic。
带着依旧灿烂的笑容面对朋友。不是怕挚友担心，是不想扫兴。今天就尽情地玩吧！
应该是让人放松休闲的一天。
早上起床心情却十分不爽。
化了妆。上了平日没化的黑色眼影，让自己更 gothic。
带着依旧灿烂的笑容面对朋友。不是怕挚友担心，是不想扫兴。今天就尽情地玩吧！
第二场：迷失
决定收起地图，像西班牙苍蝇四处窜走。这种旅游方式既惊险又刺激，让我想起小学时期离家出走的短短几个小时。
La Ramblas 其实由五条街道组成。路上皆是街头艺人、赌档骗子、宿舍广告人、花店、啤酒咖啡座...... 最棒的莫过于小巷里的一间甜品店 Cafe Granja Viader。点了夏天特有的饮料 orxata。别问我这是什么。只知道它是 tiger nut 做成的。什么是 tiger nut？不知道。喝入口中，淡淡的香甜，有点像豆奶，却有另一番滋味。
既然走进了小巷子，决定继续乱闯，完成我的迷失计划。今天的出走把我带进三所教堂。
第一间是所巴洛克教堂，就坐落在繁忙的 La Rambla 大街上。简单的巴洛克设计与巴塞罗那的歌德文化相映成趣。据说，这是巴塞罗那最古老的教堂。
第二间是所不知名的歌德教堂。彩色玻璃（stained glass）在歌德设计中的重要性完全凸现在这里。我们忙着捕捉光的踪影，还在耶稣的雕像旁录了短短的光影戏。光是流动的，是有呼吸的，是戏剧性的。
第三间是巴塞罗那大教堂（Cathedral de Barcelona）。相比之下，它显得更商业化。平日若想进入教堂参观，是必须付门票的。我们今天正好赶上弥撒，免费入场。巴塞罗那人信奉的是 Catalan 天主教。这里让我们感受到的，除了有宗教色彩，更强烈的是 Catalan 独特的民族文化。
夕阳下，游走到另一所不知名的教堂外，见证了一场婚礼。当新人步入广场，亲友们往空中撒玫瑰花瓣。四周响起温馨的掌声。
简单的仪式、西班牙人的关爱，给今天的游走一个美丽的结束。
Friday, 14 September 2007
成人非童话在西班牙II
第一场：匆匆
1030 抵达巴塞罗那机场
1230 行李、木偶、道具、灯光、音响器材随着第二班机降落...... 不对！还有一箱灯光和音响器材失踪！
1430 离开机场，前往剧院。已经迟了四个小时了。
1600 今天的第一餐：面包两块 + 矿泉水一瓶
2100 彩排（我差点在台上睡着。看一看时间，新加坡0300。不要怪我。）
2300 等候 check in。大家都像一堆堆烂泥摊在剧院外。
2400 晚餐：长途巴士站的小档口买到的 deluxe 汉堡一个 + 矿泉水一瓶
0130 洗澡。泡澡。
0200 熄灯。睡觉。
1030 抵达巴塞罗那机场
1230 行李、木偶、道具、灯光、音响器材随着第二班机降落...... 不对！还有一箱灯光和音响器材失踪！
1430 离开机场，前往剧院。已经迟了四个小时了。
1600 今天的第一餐：面包两块 + 矿泉水一瓶
2100 彩排（我差点在台上睡着。看一看时间，新加坡0300。不要怪我。）
2300 等候 check in。大家都像一堆堆烂泥摊在剧院外。
2400 晚餐：长途巴士站的小档口买到的 deluxe 汉堡一个 + 矿泉水一瓶
0130 洗澡。泡澡。
0200 熄灯。睡觉。
Thursday, 13 September 2007
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
成人非童话之老年
安全
平静
放下
简单
原点
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
平静
放下
简单
原点
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
在停止呼吸的那一刻
Monday, 10 September 2007
成人非童话之中年
快透不过气
憋得慌
前几天，一位挚友宣判我的心境已进入了可怕的中年阶段。
也许是吧。
我开始意识到了人生的危机感。
这种危机感恐怕只会出现在那些生活不美满的人身上。
它是在警戒你：你生病了。
解药？
只有一个。
找回生命的平衡线。
憋得慌
前几天，一位挚友宣判我的心境已进入了可怕的中年阶段。
也许是吧。
我开始意识到了人生的危机感。
这种危机感恐怕只会出现在那些生活不美满的人身上。
它是在警戒你：你生病了。
解药？
只有一个。
找回生命的平衡线。
Friday, 7 September 2007
成人非童话之青年
对于你，我不敢奢求太多
对于我，你在乎太多沉默
你我会不会有结果
对于你，我总是难以捉摸
对于我，你总是自我封锁
你我会不会有结果
会不会有结果
能不能有解脱
我们到底在等什么
两颗心都太脆弱
谁都不愿现放下自我
两颗心都太不洒脱
两颗心陷入旋涡
关于她，我显得失落
关于她，你表现退缩
旋涡 彼此之间不知所措
旋涡 能不能 会不会 有结果
一开始，爱是甜的。香的。热的。浓的。辣的。酸的。痛的。湿的。咸的。苦的。涩的。
云 很淡
才显得天那么蓝
因为爱没有答案
才会在心中余波荡漾
于是
我终于明白
爱和拥有本无关
曾经在交会刹那
那份感动是一生的宝藏
爱
活在心上
不是时间可轻易打断
就算是交会时短
记忆
会超越岁月边疆
爱
活在心上
不受谁的决定改变方向
你真爱过
这就是答案
到了最后几年，才发现爱已渐渐远行......
Thursday, 6 September 2007
成人非童话之少年
铜臭：校舍
- 小学六年级，学校准备“收购”隔壁的拍卖小学。
- 中学三年级，学校宣布自主，从今以后少听教育部的话，准备搬迁。
- 高中二年级，学校筹款，修建新校舍，阿门。
- 大学三年级，学校筹备扩建，面积有一个组屋区那么大的校园供学生呼吸的空间是越来越小。
难道你没发现，教育确实是个企业，学校是有限公司（只不过不是私人的，是公家的）。学生，即是这间规模庞大的公司中的小职员。
洗脑：校训
- Ready to Serve
- 勤慎端朴
- Up and On
什么洗脑！难道校训还教你坏的不成？当然不。众教育家的用意本是好的。什么话该说？什么时候说？怎么说？什么事该做？什么时候做？怎么做？这不是基本生活技能，是什么？但仔细想想，这不是改造，又是什么？永远要 politically correct ……这叫十几岁的少年太沉重……
心魔：课程
- 语文 x 2
- 文科 x 3
- 数学 x 2
- 科学 x 2
- 会计
- 美术
这是小妹我用了 15 年修来的“福报”。福，即福气。从以上数据看来，小妹我似乎博学多才。报，即报应。年少的青春，竟在学业这只洪水猛兽的淫威逼迫下，流逝了……
说了这么多，别误会，我并不讨厌上学的日子。
相反之，我爱学校、爱校服、爱课外活动、爱参加比赛……
说穿了，我爱受重视的感觉，也需要归属感。
可想而知，当年的我，也是老师眼中的一颗苹果。
因此，虽然我不是品学兼优的模范生，但仍许下承诺：每逢教师节必要回去探望各位，当面向大家说声谢谢。而每年的这一天晚上，我必然要躲在家里，为自己再次的失约，忏悔。
对于这些疼过我的老师，我是感到愧疚的。对不起，我总是在考试成绩放榜时，让您们失望。不是我没尽力，只是每当我回头看，总会发现自己还能付出更多。
对于那些忍受过我的脸色的老师，我不能说自己有多本事，只是希望您能给学生更多的信任，更大的学习自主权。
也许，在您们看来，到了今时今日，我还保留了当年叛逆少年的轻狂。
其实，我只是不甘愿当这个制度下的牺牲品。
Thursday, 30 August 2007
成人非童话之幼年
记忆中，童年的快乐似乎只有在阿嫲的旧家才可找到。
阿嫲的旧家坐落在空军基地旁，每天早晚两次都有战斗机起飞降落的引擎声给我们播报时间。我们表姐弟几人总会搁下玩具，向着天空致意。
阿嫲的旧家四周都是鱼池。池与池之间的阡陌是我们玩 catching 的最佳场地。偶尔，也会有人一个不留神，滑入池中与鱼群共舞。这是我们最兴奋最紧张的时刻了。
阿嫲的旧家门前有个小池塘。那是属于我们表姐弟几人的。闲着无聊时，我们就会开始在池塘里泛舟。严格来说，那是表弟们用木材、木门筑的“筏”，筏上还摆了几个舅母不要的沙发垫。躺在沙发垫上，晒着太阳，喝一口橙汁，是多么写意的一件事。
阿嫲的旧家厨房里有一口井。据母亲说，那口井是阿公让员工挖的。从井里打一桶冰凉的水，往头上一淋……冷！爽！从此，每逢到阿嫲的旧家，我必会要求打井水冲凉。母亲却总是担心我会滑倒，掉入井里。
阿嫲的旧家房间摆着一个很大很长的榻。那是母亲、阿姨、舅舅们小时候的床。我最喜欢和表弟们同榻而寝，闻一闻长辈们儿时的味道。
阿嫲的旧家是阿公和员工们协力盖起来的。我也只能从这间规模还算不小的锌板屋，追踪阿公的足迹；从角落里的小黑板上遗留下来的字迹，认识这个我从来没见过的外公。萬利私人有限公司曾经让住在这里的每一个家庭成员丰衣足食。
阿嫲的旧家在政府的土地征收计划下，被拆了。表弟们一家也跟着迁徙了。有关童年的记忆，只能在这条通往阿嫲的旧家的老路上慢慢搜寻……只见 Lorong Baling 路边的大伯公还寂寞地驻守在一片荒芜的草丛旁……
阿嫲的旧家坐落在空军基地旁，每天早晚两次都有战斗机起飞降落的引擎声给我们播报时间。我们表姐弟几人总会搁下玩具，向着天空致意。
阿嫲的旧家四周都是鱼池。池与池之间的阡陌是我们玩 catching 的最佳场地。偶尔，也会有人一个不留神，滑入池中与鱼群共舞。这是我们最兴奋最紧张的时刻了。
阿嫲的旧家门前有个小池塘。那是属于我们表姐弟几人的。闲着无聊时，我们就会开始在池塘里泛舟。严格来说，那是表弟们用木材、木门筑的“筏”，筏上还摆了几个舅母不要的沙发垫。躺在沙发垫上，晒着太阳，喝一口橙汁，是多么写意的一件事。
阿嫲的旧家厨房里有一口井。据母亲说，那口井是阿公让员工挖的。从井里打一桶冰凉的水，往头上一淋……冷！爽！从此，每逢到阿嫲的旧家，我必会要求打井水冲凉。母亲却总是担心我会滑倒，掉入井里。
阿嫲的旧家房间摆着一个很大很长的榻。那是母亲、阿姨、舅舅们小时候的床。我最喜欢和表弟们同榻而寝，闻一闻长辈们儿时的味道。
阿嫲的旧家是阿公和员工们协力盖起来的。我也只能从这间规模还算不小的锌板屋，追踪阿公的足迹；从角落里的小黑板上遗留下来的字迹，认识这个我从来没见过的外公。萬利私人有限公司曾经让住在这里的每一个家庭成员丰衣足食。
阿嫲的旧家在政府的土地征收计划下，被拆了。表弟们一家也跟着迁徙了。有关童年的记忆，只能在这条通往阿嫲的旧家的老路上慢慢搜寻……只见 Lorong Baling 路边的大伯公还寂寞地驻守在一片荒芜的草丛旁……
Saturday, 25 August 2007
Back
Finally! I get most of my stuff back.
WAY TO GO!
很少有看部落格的习惯。没想到自己又重新染上了偷窥瘾，用了整个晚上窥完了疯子的生活。竟然唤起了压抑在内心已久的回忆。我不是都把它们都抛开了吗？直到今晚我才恍然，自己究竟没那么洒脱。
唉~~余震已经开始，天空开始飘起毛毛细雨，看来火山在这两天可能会爆发。请大家事先做好防范措施。
WAY TO GO!
很少有看部落格的习惯。没想到自己又重新染上了偷窥瘾，用了整个晚上窥完了疯子的生活。竟然唤起了压抑在内心已久的回忆。我不是都把它们都抛开了吗？直到今晚我才恍然，自己究竟没那么洒脱。
唉~~余震已经开始，天空开始飘起毛毛细雨，看来火山在这两天可能会爆发。请大家事先做好防范措施。
memoirs of the wind past episodes
Friday, December 15, 2006
放假
阴天。下着毛毛细雨，
一个人坐在 Downtown East 喝珍珠红茶，吃盐酥鸡……
四周一片绚丽的色彩 嘈杂的音乐
鲤鱼池潺潺的水声流入耳
小孩嚷着要看鱼
父母亲背着大包小包赶路
初院生嬉笑玩闹
洋爸爸抱着宝宝在雨中调情
一对情侣手牵着手去买雪糕
刚游完泳的游客裹着毛巾走进 Ben & Jerry's
Can I have a waffle please? Can I have a waffle please?
一家三兄妹共享一碗雪糕
小贩推着一车筒仔面路过
KFC 员工又推着一车 pepsi 走回
工作人员忙着讲电话
Hehehe...... Bodoh......
一个中年男子好奇地偷看我在写什么
泪水模糊视线感觉真好！
我还活着……
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
there lies 2 open options:
1. dream in agony
2. awaken in pain
i've been giving too many chances, been dreaming for too long. i've always hated the feeling of waking up in the mornings. let mi remain in the dark nite where everything seems surreal.
i've to wake up now. it's time to live by my mind. my eyes turn red, tears choke in my throat, but i remain calm.
i've found a way to endure tis pain. "stay positive!" my frens wld say. i'll juz remember ur wickedness n feel stupid tt i've wanted to stay dreaming... but ouch! it stil hurts...
Monday, October 2, 2006
he was there spurring me on throughout the nite. he was next to me. i've nvr felt him so close.
we never had the chance to really spend great quality time tgthr. time is always a luxury. fate always has its own idea. as much as i wan things to turn out best for u, i worry abt myself, n us...
u hav the voice of honey. u've always been able to tok mi out of my moods n am forever patient while i throw tantrums. u've nvr failed to make mi smile thru tears. as much as i love u, i hate u too.
did it ever occur to u tt ur gentleness might murder our happiness? while the heart wanna brave thru the slashes of pain, the body juz wanna hide in a small safe corner to wait for the next collector to pick it up n protect it.it's a life of misses n misunderstandings...
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
My dream since young was to fly. Luck has it that I finally flew to Asia, Africa and Europe... now America --- place that I think about. Doubts that I would ever wanna visit that place. Age has forbidden me from going on long journeys. Will there ever be a day when it might move next to Asia?
Friday, May 26, 2006
i love puppets but hate pinnochio!!!
liars, stay away from me.
it's always the same word from me: i can act blur, but dun push ur luck too far.......
Monday, January 2, 2006
MENU for 2006 New Year Party
Sweet Potato Porridge
Potato Salad
All-in-1 Soup
Fried Luncheon Meat wif Egg
Vietnamese-becomes-Korean Spring Roll
Cocktail Fruit Stix
Coke Ice
Belgium Chocolates
Participants: Pat, Leelian, Weiping, Sharon, Wanshi
Venue: Pat's place
Thanx for all the gifts!
Friday, December 2, 2005
sorry moomoo, i'm here 1st...
mahjong: -$18
4d: $206
hahaha... i still win overall!!!
floppy n moomoo, let's have another game next wk!
in the meanwhile, wk hard for the upcoming marathon.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
it always feel like a good long rest aft torturous days.
looking fwd to dinner dates, vietnam, retreat, parties, gym, pool, drinks...let's wk no more!
Friday, October 28, 2005
Literati @ wk!!!
why are literature exam questions so predictable & boring??
It's time for a change. Look out for the revolution.
Site under construction now.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
A heart is bleeding
I lock it in a freezer
Please do not take it out
For fear blood will start trickling and flowing again
Thursday, October 13, 2005
I've had a great opening @ TWISTED today. Missed the applause. Missed the stage lx. Missed the live music. Missed the theatre. Missed my puppets. Missed my fellow actors. Missed everything abt theatre. But I'll not regret my choice... Wait for me... I'll b back...
If you'd missed Furthest North, Deepest South (5th Life! Theatre Awards-Best
Production of the Year-Best Ensemble Acting), Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea ("5 stars out of 5 stars! ... Among the best theatre i've ever seen." The Flying Inkpot). Don't miss TWISTED (opened TODAY)
THE FINGER PLAYERS
Presents
Twisted
Twisted tells the story of a man who keeps falling into the same hole in his entire lifetime.
Layered shadow imagery and dazzling puppetry conjure up scenes of mystery, enchantment and macabre fun as a child fends off attacksfrom his schoolbag possessed with monsters; lovers appear as bow ties strangling one’s neck and a blackhole that keeps sucking life away from all around it.
Images emerge, floating by as in a daydream; silhouettes in the dim light move to a soundscape like a visual orchestra.
The Finger Players brings together the talents of award-winning Sound Designer, Darren Ng, up and coming lighting designer, Lim Woan Wen and movement artist Koh Leng Leng in this fascinating world inhabited by puppets and shadows.
The purity, simplicity and poetry of the tale would evoke a scenic mosaic created between sound, lights, dance and puppet theatre.
PRESENTED BY:The Finger Players’ Artistic Ensemble
FEATURING:Koh Leng Leng
SET DESIGNER:Oliver Chong
LIGHTING DESIGNER:Lim Woan Wen
SOUND DESIGNER:Darren Ng
VENUE:Theatre Studio, Esplanade
DATES/TIME:October, 12th-15th (8pm) (Wed-Sat)October, 16th (3pm) (Sun)
TICKETS$25 (not inclusive of $2 ticket surcharge)$20* concession (not inclusive of $1 ticket surcharge)*students, NSFs, ASA, SDEA, senior citizens (55 and above)
MATINEE CONCESSION (16th October Sunday)$20 (not inclusive of $1 ticket surcharge)
EARLY BIRD CONCESSION: $20 (not inclusive of $1 ticket surcharge)Call 6739 6061 before 31st August 2005!
SCHOOL BOOKING CONCESSION:(With Singapore Tote Board Subsidy): $8 per student + $1 ticket surchargeDetails: www.nac.gov.sg/aep/coelistings.asp
TICKETING:
SISTIC outlets islandwide
SISTIC hotline 6348 5555
SISTIC Website http://www.sistic.com.sg/
(Public Sales : from 5th SEPTEMBER 2005 onwards)
ENQUIRY:
6738 6061
tfplayer@singnet.com.sg
http://www.fingerplayers.com/
THE FINGER PLAYERS
ONE-TWO-SIX Cairnhill Arts Centre126 Cairnhill Road, #03-01/02, Singapore 229707
tel (65) 6738 6061 fax (65) 6738 6596
http://us.f607.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=tfplayer@singnet.com.sg http://www.fingerplayers.com/
******************************************************************
The Finger Players is a non-profit theatre company with charity status,In the short span of 5 years, the company has grown from a one-person outfit to a professional theatre company with six full-time staff. The company has also established itself as one of Singapore’s most prolific international touring companies.
Presently we have 3 branches.
1) Main Season
2) International Season
3) Reach Out!
1) The Reach Out! branch focuses on cultivating new audiences and arts appreciation via its arts education programme such as workshops,consultancy services and school/community tours.
2) The International Season branch wins invitations from at least 2 international puppet festivals per year. To date, the branch hasparticipated in 14 festivals in 10 cities around the world. Its mission is to promote and cultivate artistic exchanges between our artistic ensemble and foreign artists.
3) The Main Season branch is committed to an artistic vision that fusestheatre, puppetry and other disciplines into an unique and new aesthetic. The award winning play, Furthest North, Deepest South, is a testament of such a vision.The Finger Players' mission is to create a theatre of imagination.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
eyes... feel a painful slash. It itches to protest: "I NEED TO REST TOO!!!" I feel uncomfortably sorry. And I apologise: I'll ask for 2 days MC.
Saturday, October 1, 2005
I'm WONDER WOMAN! sold one box of apples (ard 138 apples in tt box) today! power! but i'm left wif almost no voice... cough cough... think everybody did well to raise awareness for children's cancer. Looking fwd to Charity Car Wash next wk. Anybody interested? Pls help! It's for a gd cause. $12/wash.
http://www.ccf.org.sg/calendar_events/calendar.html#oct_fund_1
I'm scheduled for car wash training tis sun. foam party!!! hahaha... better dun mix all the equipments n machines up!
Conclusion for the day: I'm super muddle-headed n voiceless WONDER WOMAN!!! hahaha...
a brand new day tmr... i'm gg to rise bright n sunny..
Sunday, September 25, 2005
*cough cough sniff sniff*
fever n flu
my throat hurts...
I can feel the sore getting bigger day by day
my stomach is painfully churning away
it feels queasy
I see my packets of tissue getting lesser by the min
n the dustbin's stomach is bloated
burrrp... u've had too much to eat!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
A lady who found her true love... so blissful... so heartwarming... everlasting... sending all my well wishes to u...
We are all weaving dreams. You've a sweet memorable one. Hope mine wun b a nitemare. Dunno how to submit my dream in tmr. HELP!!!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Finally, I'm not psycho anymore! YAY!
No mood for anything else except for Pat's BIG day!!! white, pink, blue, silver... I'm all set! err... am I? Hmm... I've decided to change my job to scriptwriter... I'm loving it...
Thursday, September 15, 2005
BOOOKS
BOOKS
BOOkS
BookS
books
me
It's fun to be a student, but being a student in crash course sux.I've got a paper due tmr n I'm only 1/4 thru... where's the space for critical n creative thinking they advocate??
I m dead.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
It's 2:48 am in the morning. hungry n tired me. I'm gg crazy over Howard Gardner!!! Somebody, help me! badly need a break. I dun wan any intelligence no more.
放假
阴天。下着毛毛细雨，
一个人坐在 Downtown East 喝珍珠红茶，吃盐酥鸡……
四周一片绚丽的色彩 嘈杂的音乐
鲤鱼池潺潺的水声流入耳
小孩嚷着要看鱼
父母亲背着大包小包赶路
初院生嬉笑玩闹
洋爸爸抱着宝宝在雨中调情
一对情侣手牵着手去买雪糕
刚游完泳的游客裹着毛巾走进 Ben & Jerry's
Can I have a waffle please? Can I have a waffle please?
一家三兄妹共享一碗雪糕
小贩推着一车筒仔面路过
KFC 员工又推着一车 pepsi 走回
工作人员忙着讲电话
Hehehe...... Bodoh......
一个中年男子好奇地偷看我在写什么
泪水模糊视线感觉真好！
我还活着……
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
there lies 2 open options:
1. dream in agony
2. awaken in pain
i've been giving too many chances, been dreaming for too long. i've always hated the feeling of waking up in the mornings. let mi remain in the dark nite where everything seems surreal.
i've to wake up now. it's time to live by my mind. my eyes turn red, tears choke in my throat, but i remain calm.
i've found a way to endure tis pain. "stay positive!" my frens wld say. i'll juz remember ur wickedness n feel stupid tt i've wanted to stay dreaming... but ouch! it stil hurts...
Monday, October 2, 2006
he was there spurring me on throughout the nite. he was next to me. i've nvr felt him so close.
we never had the chance to really spend great quality time tgthr. time is always a luxury. fate always has its own idea. as much as i wan things to turn out best for u, i worry abt myself, n us...
u hav the voice of honey. u've always been able to tok mi out of my moods n am forever patient while i throw tantrums. u've nvr failed to make mi smile thru tears. as much as i love u, i hate u too.
did it ever occur to u tt ur gentleness might murder our happiness? while the heart wanna brave thru the slashes of pain, the body juz wanna hide in a small safe corner to wait for the next collector to pick it up n protect it.it's a life of misses n misunderstandings...
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
My dream since young was to fly. Luck has it that I finally flew to Asia, Africa and Europe... now America --- place that I think about. Doubts that I would ever wanna visit that place. Age has forbidden me from going on long journeys. Will there ever be a day when it might move next to Asia?
Friday, May 26, 2006
i love puppets but hate pinnochio!!!
liars, stay away from me.
it's always the same word from me: i can act blur, but dun push ur luck too far.......
Monday, January 2, 2006
MENU for 2006 New Year Party
Sweet Potato Porridge
Potato Salad
All-in-1 Soup
Fried Luncheon Meat wif Egg
Vietnamese-becomes-Korean Spring Roll
Cocktail Fruit Stix
Coke Ice
Belgium Chocolates
Participants: Pat, Leelian, Weiping, Sharon, Wanshi
Venue: Pat's place
Thanx for all the gifts!
Friday, December 2, 2005
sorry moomoo, i'm here 1st...
mahjong: -$18
4d: $206
hahaha... i still win overall!!!
floppy n moomoo, let's have another game next wk!
in the meanwhile, wk hard for the upcoming marathon.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
it always feel like a good long rest aft torturous days.
looking fwd to dinner dates, vietnam, retreat, parties, gym, pool, drinks...let's wk no more!
Friday, October 28, 2005
Literati @ wk!!!
why are literature exam questions so predictable & boring??
It's time for a change. Look out for the revolution.
Site under construction now.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
A heart is bleeding
I lock it in a freezer
Please do not take it out
For fear blood will start trickling and flowing again
Thursday, October 13, 2005
I've had a great opening @ TWISTED today. Missed the applause. Missed the stage lx. Missed the live music. Missed the theatre. Missed my puppets. Missed my fellow actors. Missed everything abt theatre. But I'll not regret my choice... Wait for me... I'll b back...
If you'd missed Furthest North, Deepest South (5th Life! Theatre Awards-Best
Production of the Year-Best Ensemble Acting), Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea ("5 stars out of 5 stars! ... Among the best theatre i've ever seen." The Flying Inkpot). Don't miss TWISTED (opened TODAY)THE FINGER PLAYERS
Presents
Twisted
Twisted tells the story of a man who keeps falling into the same hole in his entire lifetime.
Layered shadow imagery and dazzling puppetry conjure up scenes of mystery, enchantment and macabre fun as a child fends off attacksfrom his schoolbag possessed with monsters; lovers appear as bow ties strangling one’s neck and a blackhole that keeps sucking life away from all around it.
Images emerge, floating by as in a daydream; silhouettes in the dim light move to a soundscape like a visual orchestra.
The Finger Players brings together the talents of award-winning Sound Designer, Darren Ng, up and coming lighting designer, Lim Woan Wen and movement artist Koh Leng Leng in this fascinating world inhabited by puppets and shadows.
The purity, simplicity and poetry of the tale would evoke a scenic mosaic created between sound, lights, dance and puppet theatre.
PRESENTED BY:The Finger Players’ Artistic Ensemble
FEATURING:Koh Leng Leng
SET DESIGNER:Oliver Chong
LIGHTING DESIGNER:Lim Woan Wen
SOUND DESIGNER:Darren Ng
VENUE:Theatre Studio, Esplanade
DATES/TIME:October, 12th-15th (8pm) (Wed-Sat)October, 16th (3pm) (Sun)
TICKETS$25 (not inclusive of $2 ticket surcharge)$20* concession (not inclusive of $1 ticket surcharge)*students, NSFs, ASA, SDEA, senior citizens (55 and above)
MATINEE CONCESSION (16th October Sunday)$20 (not inclusive of $1 ticket surcharge)
EARLY BIRD CONCESSION: $20 (not inclusive of $1 ticket surcharge)Call 6739 6061 before 31st August 2005!
SCHOOL BOOKING CONCESSION:(With Singapore Tote Board Subsidy): $8 per student + $1 ticket surchargeDetails: www.nac.gov.sg/aep/coelistings.asp
TICKETING:
SISTIC outlets islandwide
SISTIC hotline 6348 5555
SISTIC Website http://www.sistic.com.sg/
(Public Sales : from 5th SEPTEMBER 2005 onwards)
ENQUIRY:
6738 6061
tfplayer@singnet.com.sg
http://www.fingerplayers.com/
THE FINGER PLAYERS
ONE-TWO-SIX Cairnhill Arts Centre126 Cairnhill Road, #03-01/02, Singapore 229707
tel (65) 6738 6061 fax (65) 6738 6596
http://us.f607.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=tfplayer@singnet.com.sg http://www.fingerplayers.com/
******************************************************************
The Finger Players is a non-profit theatre company with charity status,In the short span of 5 years, the company has grown from a one-person outfit to a professional theatre company with six full-time staff. The company has also established itself as one of Singapore’s most prolific international touring companies.
Presently we have 3 branches.
1) Main Season
2) International Season
3) Reach Out!
1) The Reach Out! branch focuses on cultivating new audiences and arts appreciation via its arts education programme such as workshops,consultancy services and school/community tours.
2) The International Season branch wins invitations from at least 2 international puppet festivals per year. To date, the branch hasparticipated in 14 festivals in 10 cities around the world. Its mission is to promote and cultivate artistic exchanges between our artistic ensemble and foreign artists.
3) The Main Season branch is committed to an artistic vision that fusestheatre, puppetry and other disciplines into an unique and new aesthetic. The award winning play, Furthest North, Deepest South, is a testament of such a vision.The Finger Players' mission is to create a theatre of imagination.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
eyes... feel a painful slash. It itches to protest: "I NEED TO REST TOO!!!" I feel uncomfortably sorry. And I apologise: I'll ask for 2 days MC.
Saturday, October 1, 2005
I'm WONDER WOMAN! sold one box of apples (ard 138 apples in tt box) today! power! but i'm left wif almost no voice... cough cough... think everybody did well to raise awareness for children's cancer. Looking fwd to Charity Car Wash next wk. Anybody interested? Pls help! It's for a gd cause. $12/wash.
http://www.ccf.org.sg/calendar_events/calendar.html#oct_fund_1
I'm scheduled for car wash training tis sun. foam party!!! hahaha... better dun mix all the equipments n machines up!
Conclusion for the day: I'm super muddle-headed n voiceless WONDER WOMAN!!! hahaha...
Monday, September 26, 2005
a brand new day tmr... i'm gg to rise bright n sunny..
keep it up! i did well today. gone wif the flu monster. it's time for me to enter the battlefield once again. u pple wait n see... I AM A WARRIOR and i'll always be...
Sunday, September 25, 2005
*cough cough sniff sniff*
fever n flu
my throat hurts...
I can feel the sore getting bigger day by day
my stomach is painfully churning away
it feels queasy
I see my packets of tissue getting lesser by the min
n the dustbin's stomach is bloated
burrrp... u've had too much to eat!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
A lady who found her true love... so blissful... so heartwarming... everlasting... sending all my well wishes to u...
We are all weaving dreams. You've a sweet memorable one. Hope mine wun b a nitemare. Dunno how to submit my dream in tmr. HELP!!!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Finally, I'm not psycho anymore! YAY!
No mood for anything else except for Pat's BIG day!!! white, pink, blue, silver... I'm all set! err... am I? Hmm... I've decided to change my job to scriptwriter... I'm loving it...
Thursday, September 15, 2005
BOOOKS
BOOKS
BOOkS
BookS
books
me
It's fun to be a student, but being a student in crash course sux.I've got a paper due tmr n I'm only 1/4 thru... where's the space for critical n creative thinking they advocate??
I m dead.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
It's 2:48 am in the morning. hungry n tired me. I'm gg crazy over Howard Gardner!!! Somebody, help me! badly need a break. I dun wan any intelligence no more.
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